Romance and the Midlife Woman
It’s funny how our ideas about romance can change over the years.
While once tall, dark and handsome was all that would do, today we're happy if he has most of his hair and keeps his Moob situation under control.
While it once seemed risqué to be intimate in unconventional places like the tool shed or the car, today those locales are our only options if we want some alone time with our partner, away from the kids.
And while, "I love you" are the three words we long to hear most, "I'll make dinner" come a very close second.
With Valentine's Day on the horizon, this week we set out to find some novel ideas for romance and the midlife woman.
Read All About It
Still Sexy After All These Years asks the question, “What do women over 50 really think about sex?”
In a book that reads like a mini Kinsey report on the 50+ woman, health educator Leah Kliger and psychologist Deborah Nedelman interviewed hundreds of women in order to put together a picture of the midlife woman’s thoughts on things like body image and self-esteem, keeping lust alive and what really happens to a woman’s sexual desire after 50.
In the just released Getting Naked Again, clinical psychologist and New York Times best-selling author Judith Sills, PhD offers stories and practical advice for women who have come through divorce, widowhood or broken affairs and are ready to find romance again.
Am I Normal? The 2009 Harlequin Romance Report
If you’ve ever wondered if your opinions on romance are the same as everyone else, compare you’re thoughts with the results of the recently released 2009 Harlequin Romance Report.
Harlequin asked 3,000 Canadian and American men and women to share their thoughts on love, romance and if there really is such a thing as perfect love.
While some of the results aren’t surprising – women want partners who are more thoughtful (44%) and more emotionally tuned to their whims (27%), other findings, like the fact that 25% of the women surveyed wished their partners were better in bed, may shock you. (Then again, maybe not.)
And if you’re thinking of a makeover or face-lift to improve your chances with the opposite sex, you may want to think again. 44% of the men surveyed said they were turned off by excessive make-up and major plastic surgery.
The report is available free on-line at http://www.harlequinromancereport.com/.
You And Your Man
We asked two of Toronto’s relationship experts (and women of a certain age) what they thought was the most romantic thing a midlife woman could do for her man.
Valerie Gibson, Toronto’s best-known Cougar and host of Dear Valerie (Tuesdays at 2 p.m. on Rogers T.V.), told us:
“Since most couples find their romantic and sex life has become somewhat staid and habitual when they reach mid-life, and most men equate romance with sexual activity, the most romantic thing a woman can do for a man is spice up their sexual life.
“Nothing makes a man more thrilled than to have his long-term partner tell him how much she desires and wants him and then set aside some special time to play, relax and discover each other again.”
Sexuality expert Rebecca Roenblat, a.k.a. “Dr. Date” and host of Sex @ 11 (Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 p.m. on Rogers T.V.) offers this piece of advice:
“Since middle-aged men are very conscious of life passing them by, with many unfulfilled dreams, the nicest thing a partner could to for him is plan out his favourite fantasy, right down to the last detail, where she becomes the pursuer. And if there's a gift she'd like to buy for him, it needs to be something he's really wanted, but would never buy for himself.”
SexualityandU
For accurate and up-to-date information on sexual health for you, your teens, your younger children and even your parents (too much information?), visit The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists website www.SexualityandU.ca. You’ll be surprised how much you’ll learn.
For A Little Fun
Whether you’re a closet Cougar, proudly out on the prowl or just enjoy reading about your Cougar women counterparts, there’s something for you on The Real Cougar Woman website.
Started by ex-pat Canadian Linda Franklin, this site is dedicated to all thing Cougar, from Cougar watching to Cougar shopping to Cougar dating.
Also on The Best Kept Secret . . . . .
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